This startup rejected me after 10 rounds and a 40-page assignment

And I’m not gonna shut up about it

WATCH OUT WORLD, she’s rejected, offended, and not afraid to Substack.

If you’ve followed me on here before, you know I have a bone to pick with Corporate America. I pretty much started Take Care of Yourself to heal from (read: vent about) the burnout I experienced after 10 years of start up, advertising, and corporate f*ckery. (Mom if you’re reading this, that does not count as a swearword.)

Luckily, Substack gives us all a platform to use our words freely and so today, I’m exercising my freedom to shit talk about the bullshit a lot of companies are getting away with — specifically, the absolute atrocity that is the interview process in today’s competitive marketplace.

Let’s start with a little background so that you know I’m not some idiot who just complains about everything. First off, although I do identity as an idiot, I’m actually not and I have had a pretty impressive career in marketing, having sold my soul had the privilege to work for a Fortune 500 company, a 150-year old household name, and a very cool global advertising agency. I’ve managed both sides of the interview process and have also been interviewed enough to understand right from wrong. All this to say, everything I’m about to write, albeit rage-filled, is coming from an informed and reasonable place.

THIS WAS HANDS DOWN THE WORST INTERVIEW PROCESS I HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

From start to end, it was 10 rounds of 1-hour interviews with everyone from direct reports to VPs to the CEO. First it was supposed to be 3 rounds then somehow 5 then 7 then 10. Every step of the way, they would change the order, add more, never telling me who was who or what to expect. I’ve done this enough to figure that out on my own – shoutout to LinkedIn stalking – but not the point.

Next, because 10 rounds is obviously not enough to make an informed decision, they asked for an assignment (and ultimately presentation) that was so absurdly excessive I actually audibly laughed when I first read it. HR sent it to me at 9:30pm (love a healthy work/life balance!) with an air of “just a quick little homework assignment!”

I’ll put it this way, I would have given an agency probably a month and $50k to deliver this kind of work. I had 4 days, and they asked for a full Mother’s Day campaign, creative assets including copy and design, strategy, partnership approach, 3-5 partnership ideas, a target audience deep dive including product analysis, and a full 6-week timeline. They also didn’t provide any brief (I made one myself) or share any context on the brand, business objectives, considerations. (They then had the audacity to provide feedback that my target audience “skewed a bit young for them.”)

Under normal circumstances, I probably would have said F*CK OFF at this point and withdrawn. After investing 7 rounds of time, I would expect to anyone to be compensated, especially at the level of strategic thinking they were asking for. I carried on because I had made it this far. “Let me just get the offer,” I thought.

The interviews overall were pretty underwhelming and I knew in my bones it wasn’t right. It all felt very stiff and scripted, rather than organic conversation. My thorough responses were usually met with “makes sense!” instead of any real dialogue or ability to engage. This is actually a sneaky red flag I should have listened to — you should vibe and it should feel like natural, mutual, nerding-out back-and-forth. The one leadership (VP-level) that was more casual went too far in the other direction. She joined 6 minutes late and from a loud coffee shop on her cellphone while wearing sunglasses. It was a beautiful, sunny day after all, why ruin it with an interview that’s actually your job? Her video service sucked and it made for an incredibly uncomfortable 45 minutes. Could you make someone feel any less important?

My biggest sticking point was from a process standpoint. They would consistently be 2 days late in getting back to me. Anyone who has been on the other side of interviewing knows how stressful it is when you’re waiting to hear back. No matter how confident you are in yourself, there is a vulnerability that goes into interviewing and waiting to see if you’re “accepted,” so at the very least, a heads up that there will be a delay is a common courtesy.

Worst of all — this is where I’m really fired up and admittedly maybe being a little petty but WHATEVER — they knew my birthday was on the Friday they were going to tell me the final decision. I was refreshing my email all day — birthday morning coffee, getting ready before birthday dinner, the whole day really. Rejected or not, I just wanted closure.

I refreshed until about 9pm on Friday. Nothing. I did the same thing on Monday. Nothing. Tuesday morning came and went so I decided to reach out on my own. These bastards!

Within an hour of sending my email we had a call where they told me I was rejected.

Meaning…they had already made the decision and still dragged me along. What they could have, and should have, done was just told me they’d let me know on Tuesday – they could offered it to the other candidate, kept me on back up, and allow me to enjoy a nice birthday weekend. You can be strategic without being shitty. But no. This kind of messiness and lack of empathy is really the hallmark of a chaotic startup.

Last, and maybe worst of all (have I said that like 5 times?) when she rejected me she wasn’t able to give me any real, substantive reasoning. When I asked for more, she said she “wasn’t a marketer and would have to follow up.” Is that not literally your one job when you’re rejecting someone? She said she would follow up with more details in an email. That was a week ago and I still haven’t gotten it. Are we surprised?

In return for “getting through the ‘comprehensive’ process,” she offered to send me free product. SO icky, right?!?!?!

I gladly accepted. Not because I want to actually use them or be reminded of this terrible waste of life, but because they sucked so much out of me, the least I can do is try to suck something out of them. Even if I throw it out and waste them right back.

This is corporate America.

Now that I’m a week out from it all, I’m mainly just bitter and needed to vent (thanks for listening) but there are also a few clear lessons that I’ve learned and want to share.

• Listen to your gut. I know this is so cliché and annoying because “what if my gut is confused.” True. But sometimes your gut isn’t actually confused and you just don’t want to hear it. In your core of cores, you know. You just don’t want it to be true. Every step of the way I knew this was wrong. I knew it felt icky and I didn’t like it and I didn’t even want it. My body never felt peace. I stayed in it for the wrong reasons (money) which is exactly how I’ve been in every bad job situation before. They all end the same. I’m ultimately so glad they rejected me so I didn’t have to make that decision myself but next time I will have more conviction in what I know to be true. Even if it’s not the easy choice.

• Know your worth. These f*ckers did not deserve my time or my ideas, and honestly, I’m annoyed they now have both. Next time, I will never do work for free. If a company needs 38 pages of PDF to make a decision after 10 rounds of interviews, run. They’re either idiots, over thinkers, or both.

• You’re interviewing them. I didn’t forget this along the way (and maybe they didn’t like that I asked them pointed questions about the employee experience) but I want to underline it because not everyone appreciates that interviews are two ways. A company is nothing without its employees and you are literally the fabric of the business. There is power in that. Especially if you’ve got some experience under your belt or unique skills to offer, they need you. Don’t forget your worth and don’t be afraid to make sure you’re getting what you want. If you won’t, who will?

• Don’t get distracted by the shiny objects. Unlimited PTO. Mental health stipend. Employee discounts. More often than not, these are bribes used to help you justify an otherwise shitty environment. Not always, but usually. Any time I’ve been given a giant bonus or super cool work perks, it’s usually because it really sucks. (The most toxic place I ever worked offered weekly yoga, $500 a quarter stipend, a Calm app membership, $50 of food and drink every month, and unlimited vacation.)

• Don’t forget what you learned in 5th grade. If you’re in HR or interviewing someone right now, please, please, please practice empathy. This is someone’s life you’re now impacting. This is what they talk about at dinner, what they think about when they wake up. They’re making time for you and putting themselves out there for you. They’re prepping, practicing, researching. The very least you can do is tell them if you’re going to be delayed. Give them a heads up about what to expect. Share with them honest feedback throughout the way so they can address it or simply adjust their expectations. Don’t forget the Golden Rule — I know you learned it.

• Don’t be afraid to say NO. Corporate America has been getting away with this shit for so long because it’s way too scary to say no. Figuring out other ways to make stable money (healthcare, retirement) is really hard and so we all put up with what we know is so wrong, so unnecessary, and honestly so dumb. You do have the power to say no, to push back, to walk away, to reject them. I’m going to try to figure out a different way and I employ (heh) you to, too. We can do it!!!!

• Rejection is a gift. This is probably rich since I just wrote an entire hatepiece after get rejected, but I genuinely have immense gratitude at how this ended. I like to think I would have rejected them if I got the offer, but the greatest gift they could have ever given me was doing it for me. Rejection always, always, always gets you one step closer so where you are intended to be. Promise.

By the way, I am choosing to not disclose the brand here, but you better believe I’ll be writing the shit out of a Glassdoor review. Companies have been hiding behind employee fear for too long and the only way remedy that is to remember that you’re powerful too.

Take care of yourself,

Allison